I'm Tammie Ferraro. Throughout my 30's I was often referred for ultrasound follow up on lumps in my breasts because I had "exceptionally" dense breast tissue. Nobody ever mentioned this as being a risk to me, and I thought it was a good thing since I was conditioned and not saggy!
After a family vacation to Florida in the winter of 2012, I felt a lump in the middle of my chest while in the shower. "What the heck is that?" I wondered, as a shudder of fear came over me. By the middle of my chest, I mean outside of what you would generally consider to be the breast tissue. Knowing I had just had a mammogram the previous month, and that I had been having ultrasounds every 6 months for various lumps, I let it go for a short time. After a week of noticing it every morning, the "sense of doom" was strong, and I called my doctor. He did not think it was necessary to come in since I had just had an exam, mammogram, and ultrasound. As we were ending the call, I said "You know, I'm really uncomfortable with this.I don't think I want to watch it to see if it changes". He reluctantly agreed to see me, but I got the "put this one off a while" appointment a few weeks later.
I came for my appointment, and the doc said "Yep, that's a lump. But given your monitoring situation and the location I can't see it being cancer." I wasn't convinced, so he referred me for a mammogram and ultrasound just to be safe (and probably made a "pain in the a$$ patient" notation on my chart). A few weeks later, and the radiologist explained that they barely got the edge of the lump into the field of the mammogram and that it did not look like anything other than a fybroidenoma to her. But, if I wanted, just to be safe, she would do a biopsy....another 10 days later. By this time, I was starting to feel silly for insisting on so much evaluation. But a couple of days after the biopsy, I got a call from the radiologist saying the biopsy came back "atypical". She still felt it would be fine to monitor it, but said she could refer me to a breast surgeon just to be safe if I wanted because they were unable to get a quality sample due to the location.
A couple of weeks later I was at the hospital. The surgeon agreed it did not look like cancer to her either. However, after a new ultrasound, she ordered another biopsy and advised surgically removing two lumps because she felt it was always better to be safe. She explained the probable outcomes, and indicated there was an outside chance it could be a pre-cancerous lesion, known as DCIS. A few weeks later I was wheeled into surgery. After surgery, the surgeon said she felt very confident the lumps were harmless, as they appeared benign, but that I'd hear back from the office in about a week for sure. I finally started to relax and believe that if this many doctors thought I was fine, I must be fine.
I should have known it wasn't good when the surgeon herself called a few days later. She told me that she was sorry to have to tell me that I had invasive ductal carcinoma...breast cancer...in both lumps she removed. She regretted telling me how sure she was that it was not cancer. Because of the location and multiple areas of lesion, a mastectomy was my only option on the primary side. Because I also had similar lumps on the other side, I was a strong candidate for a bi-lateral mastectomy. I went with the bi-lateral "just to be safe". She explained during the surgery, several lymph nodes would be checked to be sure the cancer had not spread even though the tests indicated it had not. The hope was that with the mastectomy, I may avoid chemotherapy, and would not need further treatment beyond possibly tamoxifen.
I woke up from surgery to learn the lymph nodes were positive for invasive cancer (which meant full lymph node removal followed), and ultimately that there was extracapsular extension - the cancer was metastasizing outside of the lymph nodes. There was cancer in 3 of the lumps. I was referred to the oncologist for chemotherapy and radiation. The next weeks were a flurry of scans, tests, and appointments. I got my port surgically implanted with only lidocaine the day of my first chemo. They avoided sedation to decrease the odds of puking after a combo cocktail of sedation and chemo. It worked, but it was very stressful.
Did I want a wig? Heck if I knew, and I sure didn't know where to find one. I finally found a link to a store and they ordered me a wig after an embarrassing and awkward session of trying on wigs in the middle of a hair salon....only to tell me it was backordered a couple of days before my hair fell out. I decided I never really wanted a wig anyway! I later got one through the American Cancer Society at a local beauty shop, but never wore that one either.
I completed 16 rounds of chemo, and 33 of radiation. Because I have lupus, my body reacted unfavorably to radiation...to say the least. My shoulder froze, and then dislocated, and then the rotator cuff tore....more surgery. Somehow, possibly due to positioning during reconstructive surgery, I got a herniated disc in my neck and my arm went numb and I had dizzy spells. More surgery for spinal fusion. In the end, I have had more than 15 surgeries at this point, and have continued mobility issues.
I never went to a support group, though I do stay in close contact with a group of women I met through Breastcancer.org (see charity listings) . We all started chemo at roughly the same time and have remained in contact to the present. We are spread throughout the country, Canada, and Trinidad and Tobago. We are all very different, yet share a close bond. Many of us have met in person. Too many of us have died. We do not always see things the same way, but we will always share a close sisterhood.
I currently volunteer with Casting for Recovery, Western PA. I attended a retreat, and it made enough of an impact on my life that I have continued to volunteer with the organization. Fly casting helps with range of motion and lymphedema, being in the water is calm and peaceful, and I've made some awesome friends. What more could I ask for? If you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, I highly recommend considering a Casting for Recovery Retreat (it's free!)!
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